Monday, May 21, 2012

Updated: Please tell me this Job Post is Real

Update: One of our commenters pointed out that the Craigslist job ad has been "fixed." Apparently some people responded to the ad to correct the job poster's grammar/spelling, which is too bad because I found the original post charming.

The job poster seems to have a good sense of humor about it (or he's just bitter, I can't really tell), as he states at the end of the updated ad: "All the people that pointed out flaws don't get jobs."

The same goes for you people here. If you point out flaws in my posts, you will NEVER GET A JOB WRITING FOR THIS BLOG! Now get back to work.

Original Post:
This morning I checked out the job postings on Craigslist and I found possibly the greatest ad for a PI firm in town. Now I hope you all know the perils of replying to an anonymous ad on Craigslist.  That said, PLEASE APPLY TO THIS JOB AD and let us know if you get a response. I'm dying to find out which firm posted this (even though it's most likely fake).

Here is the full text of the ad for those who don't want to visit Craigslist:

Third or Fourth Year PI Attorney - $110,000+ (Las Vegas, NV)

Looking for third or fourth year attorney. Want someone that has REAL court experience, not some shithead that sat behind there desks at some highfalutin biglaw firm that cant find they're way to the courthouse or talk to clients. Will pay the greater of $110,000 per year, or 40% of the files you close. We got plenty of cases for you, they practically line up at hour dore. Dont sent resume or transcript (this is a simple instruction, dont break it). Instead, sent an 200-400 word email explaining you're experience and why your better then all the other people that are applying. Treat this like a writing sample. Also, I don't want applications from students that went to first or second tier schools. If you went to some highfalutin school, we will laugh at your sorry ass.

I work pretty hard to bring in business, but there are times when I wonder what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I just need to get off my "highfalutin" horse and stop worrying about trivial things like spelling.  Before long the clients will be lining up at "hour dore."



  1. Must. Not. Feed. The. Troll.

  2. It would not surprise me if that is a legitimate ad for a job at Lerner's office.

  3. Maybe they should have treated their ad as a writing sample.

  4. I went to a second tier school. That makes me an elitist, huh?

  5. Tell them to send me a check for 27 large and I'll take of it all - complete with an ironclad guarantee that the newbie can't spell check.

    How awesome would it be if a check really showed up?!?!?!

  6. Sounds like Lerner. He did go to Tulane, however, so not sure about the top tier thing. He's been spending BIG bucks to recruit litigators the past few years.

  7. You don't think Lerner posted that himself, do you? I have a hard time believing that ANY lawyer would have such terrible spelling. "Dore"? That's not just a simple typing error. I could see if it was an office manager or receptionist with a high school diploma, but I will cry if I find out that somebody passed the bar exam with writing skills like that.

  8. The ad has been updated. Not much better though.

  9. I'm hoping that the ad was dictated over one of those voice recognition things and that no lawyer actually wrote it.

  10. Jordan: I'm sure you're very tuned in to the Nevada job market and have great relationships with local firms, and I hope you don't take offense to a question I've had for awhile. I'm wondering why a legal recruiter is necessary in a small legal community like Nevada's. It seems like I've always known right away when firms I'd work for are hiring. Also, while I'm sure your relationships pay dividends, I'm also sure firms want to hire the best applicant, regardless of whether they know the recruiter or not. In fact, the recruiter fee seems like it could even hurt an applicant. Tell me why I'm wrong (and I'm sure I am).

    Also, didn't you used to do interviews re: the state of the legal market and tips for associates? You should do an interview with law dog.

  11. 10 PM here: I'll note that I'm a mid-level associate, and admittedly I have no idea how I'd approach moving around if I were a partner. Perhaps that's when recruiters add the most value.

    Also, I've never used a recruiter, so maybe I don't know what I'm missing.

  12. May 22, 2012 10:00 PM - A serious question deserves a serious answer. I've long told my clients and candidates alike that I don't get paid solely for finding candidates. That's just the start of the process. The complete value of my services include successfully negotiating the brokering of an attorneys practice, which involves anticipating and meeting the needs of both parties. Additionally, unlike standard executive recruiting, legal recruiting involves a much higher calculation of human factors.

    All legal communities are small. That's not the key element in what I do. Why do M&A brokers get paid? Why don't corporations just do their own deals? In some cases, just like law firms, that's just exactly what they do. But the skill sets are unique, particularly in the legal industry (what do you look for in a potential recruitment deal?) and the good offices of a third party are frequently indispensable to closing a deal.

    Although not all, most of my work involves Partners and Of Counsel. So in brokering an attorneys' practice, I am essentially putting together micro M&A deals. I'm not just moving an attorney, I'm moving a business with a revenue stream.

    Fees don't usually amount to much from a relative perspective when you factor in the potential revenue stream the candidate represents, but I will admit that in lower profit practice areas, it does become more of a factor and my services in those cases may not pencil out.

    Here's a hard fact: the services of a recruiter aren't always the best choice, whether you're a client or a candidate. But in many cases, especially if you possess, or are seeking, significant portfolios of business or you're in search of a difficult to fill practice niche, a recruiter can be just what you want. Right now I'm negotiating with a group of attorneys and demonstrating that my representation of their practice is the best way to maximize the value of their book. We'll see what happens.

    You mentioned that you feel that you usually know when a firm you'd be interested in is hiring. Perhaps, but you'd be surprised how much lurks out there sub rosa so to speak. But much of what I do involves bringing together parties, neither of which had been looking for the other. But when the potential advantages are researched by myself and I then share those results with the two parties, an otherwise unthought-of deal can result. This, more than anything, involves having as much familiarity as possible of the details of the various law firms in a market as well as of different attorneys or groups of attorneys. In some cases elements of information that I've had in various bits and pieces can come together after several years in a very short time.

    Not a truly complete answer, but I hope this gives you some sense of what I do. And you're right, it's been a while since I've done an interview. The editor is welcome to drop me a line.

  13. I just heard Jones Vargas imploded yesterday. Anyone heard anything on this?

  14. JV falling apart has been the rumor for 2 years now. If you don't have a job, you know they've got to be looking.

  15. ON THE BOULEVARD: Judge Glass goes from TV trials to Private Trials
    Posted by John L. Smith
    Thursday, May. 24, 2012 at 11:03 AM
    After substantial experience with some very public trials, former District Judge Jackie Glass has joined the Private Trials arbitration and mediation firm.
    Glass, who as a district judge presided over the high-profile O.J. Simpson robbery trial, most recently has starred in "Swift Justice with Jackie Glass," a courtroom show syndicated by CBS Television Distribution. The show will continue to air through September, but wasn’t renewed for another season.
    That left Glass with an opening on her career calendar, and now she’s joined former District Judge Gene Porter’s mediation and arbitration outfit.
    "I am here doing mediations and arbitrations at Private Trials," Glass said Thursday. As for her Hollywood experience, she adds, "I had a great time. The show is still on the air until September, but we’ve completed taping, it wasn’t renewed, and I'm back in here in Las Vegas working."
    One big change is her husband Steve Wolfson’s new job status as the Clark County District Attorney. Leaving the district court bench for the TV gig was fortuitous, she says.
    "It’s interesting how life works," Glass says. "Had I still been on the bench when that opportunity (for Wolfson) became available and I did criminal law, it would have been maybe a different outcome. By me being off the bench, it certainly paved the way for him to be able to get that job. It’s interesting how life has a way of working itself out."
    Glass has years of mediation experience. Even the television show was an example of binding arbitration.
    "Mediation and alternative dispute resolution as a whole helps people to more efficiently and economically resolve their legal issues and avoid having to go to trial," she says. "And if you can get your matter resolved through mediation, it’s a wonderful thing."

  16. Wow. Per web site JV has/d 19 stockholders, 7 associates and 3 OC. Little top heavy it would seem.

  17. JV lost two more partners (Akridge and Milone) to H&H today. Can't imagine that shop will be viable next month.

  18. Jones Vargas would be a good pickup for a national firm. If DLA Piper, Latham & Watkins, or Jones Day swooped in and picked up JV, JV would gain instant credibility and the national firm could better serve their national clients locally.

  19. I agree (except DLA has a small office here). Although it seems that only a few firms like Jones Day or Latham have much of an interest in Vegas.

  20. First of all, I can't believe this job posting is real. Second of all, any law office that would post a job posting like this would not be worth my time.