Friday, May 18, 2012

Lawyers

Two tigers are stalking through the darkest jungle in Africa, when the tiger in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the tiger in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly licks the front tiger's butt again. The front tiger turns angrily and says, "I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue on thier way.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger does it yet again. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway?  I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

14 comments:

  1. A paralegal, an associate and a partner of a large law firm are walking through a city park, when they spotted an antique oil lamp.

    The paralegal picked it up, but both the associate and partner grabbed for it, arguing that they found it first. Their tussling had the effect of rubbing the lamp, and to their shock a Genie emerged in a great cloud of smoke.

    The Genie announced, "In gratitude of your freeing me from the lamp, I grant you three wishes. As there are three of you, you each get one wish."

    The paralegal blurts out, "I want to be in the Barbados, sipping cocktails with a gorgeous movie star." Poof! The paralegal was gone.

    The associate, excited by the events, stammers, "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! The associate was gone.

    "You're last," the Genie says to the partner, "What is your wish?"

    The partner replied, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

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  2. Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

    The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

    The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

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  3. How can you tell whether or not your attorney is well hung?






    When you can only get two fingers between his neck and the rope.

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  4. Blog is dead...

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  5. Jokes so far - ROTFLMAO!

    Q: Why are there legal recruiters?

    A: So lawyers will have someone else to make sleazy jokes about.

    May 18, 2012 6:39 PM & May 18, 2012 9:11 PM - SHARK PIMP SEZ - Lighten up and eat a box of Little Debbie pastries; you'll feel better. I always do.

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  6. May 18, 2012 9:11 PM,

    You really have nothing better to do than check out a log blog on a Friday night? I don't think that it's the blog that is totally dead. I think it's your social life.

    Now a funnier joke,

    An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

    A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

    "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

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  7. May 21, 2012 9:53 AM Your joke IS funnier. The blog is just fine; my wife is out of town and when she's not home, I become a lost, junk food eating couch potato. So, no, I had nothing better to do. Well actually, getting some sleep and getting up in the morning and being productive WOULD have been better, but when his Hunny Bunny is gone, the Shark Pimp gets lonely and useless.

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  8. I have nothing but respect for the Shark Pimp. I was referring to the 9:11 p.m. post before yours sir. 4:03 is a perfectly respectable time to be posting...

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  9. @ 9:53am--i think a "log blog" would be better than this blog. and i work for myself, so i work strange hours. i am not a morning person. the end.

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  10. @ 4:11 - I'm willing to bet that you work for yourself not because you choose to do so, but because you are a douche, a troll and generally can't get along with humans. Am I close?

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  11. May 21, 2012 1:48 PM - Also funny! Thank you for the kind comments. My wife will home tomorrow, make me floss and brush my teeth and send me to bed on time henceforth.

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  12. @ 4:11, what is stuck up your ass? good luck with that.

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  13. and i meant @ 4:24. post fail.

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