Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Crazy Deposition Stories!

This is probably better suited for an Friday Open Thread post, but I've been called "unprofessional" and "unethical" one too many times today so I thought I'd find something to raise my spirits.

I found the video below, courtesy of Above the Law . I've been in some crazy depositions, but I have to admit I've never heard a reference to a "jurisprudential hymen" before. I have seen two attorneys come at each other across the conference table, doing the pre-fight press conference stare down until other attorneys in the room had to restrain them.

That's my craziest story, anybody else have a good deposition story to share? Extra points if you name names.

Check out the video, the deponent's response is actually better than the lawyer's question, and it's only about a minute long:



-JD

20 comments:

  1. Thanks JD for the laugh--you're the best! Happy Holidays

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  2. With all due respect to the guy in the Hawaiian shirt who apparently thinks he is on "College Gameday", this is a deposition. I would do everything in my power to get this video before a jury to show them that a "Steve Gibson" was sitting at the other table.

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  3. In other jurisprudential hymen news today, Bloomfield.

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  4. poor deponent.. that is one nasty comb-over.

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  5. Any deposition with G. Dallas Horton is eventful. He is the all-time master of rapid-fire babble.

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  6. My first deposition was against Paul Haire when he was working at Ed Bernstein's office. I asked his client if at the time of the accident she was traveling in the lefternmost lane -- Paul objected to my making up words.

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  7. I was in a deposition with G. Dallas, and his young attractive client was also in there, and he was bragging to her about his success with "dead baby" cases (fortunately this case did not involve his client's dead baby)

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  8. I don't know how it is now, but years ago any construction defect depo was a circus. If there were 15attorneys in the depo of an "expert,

    3 would be eating;

    2 would be reading the paper;

    2 would be playing games on their laptops;

    2 would be playing games on their phones;

    2 would be reading mail from other cases - and billing clients for doing so;

    1 would be sleeping;

    1 young associate would be frantically taking notes for no other reason except to simply do so;

    1 would be making inane objections to every third question; and

    1 would be asking questions of the "expert" which essentially would require the "expert" to read his report into the record

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  9. What an absolute ridiculous display of unprofessionalism. I have a sense of humor, but there is no excuse for that type of conduct in a deposition. What the hell was the deponent's lawyer doing sitting there laughing like a school girl??? I am sure that whatever respect that person had for lawyers was completely obliterated by that stunt. And what kind of a clown wears a Hawaiian shirt to a deposition?

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  10. umm, I think it was a spoof.

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  11. 10:55 - I agree, except everyone would be eating, even the guy who was sleeping.

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  12. I'll be honest, I practiced construction defect for a year (worst year of my life) and 10:50's account is spot on. And I agree with 12:39, everybody eats. It's hard to stay away from the Esquire cookies.

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  13. 10:50's account is dated and inaccurate. Nobody reads the paper. (They play Angry Birds instead.)

    And everyone eats Taco Tuesdays.

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  14. Sadly, I'm an associate in a firm that does predominantly CD defense work. The above post isn't a bad description. What the author left out is that at least a third of the attorneys present would be appearing for at least two parties and billing those parties separately for the appearance. That is how people are able to bill 270 hours per month.

    As soon as the economy turns, I'm getting into another line of work.

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  15. I am so thankful that during the CD boom, of the late 90's I was busy cutting my teeth defending stupid rear enders -- at the end of the day, the work was just as meaningless, but at least I got some litigation experience

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  16. Enough "stupid rear-enders" and you can make some real money.

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  17. To 3:12:

    Agreed. I'm just saying in the cosmic scheme of things, they are a little stupid.

    After fighting the claims for seven years, for the last eight years, i have been getting paid (usually) for making the claim.

    That's why I never take the actions of opposing counsel personally (unless they are being unnecessarily douchey) -- we are all just doing our jobs.

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  18. 10:50- that is 100% true and at one point or antother I think I was everyone of those people. The first expert depo I went to about a week after I was licensed. It went for 3 days and I think I probably took over 60 pages of notes. I only had the landscaper but was nervous wreck I would miss something. Should have had a clue when the senior partner sent me instead of someone who knew what they were doing! BTW- I was everyone one of those people except the objection guy- he was just an annoying sh*t. Just randomly said "objection" and no one ever paused or even looked at him.

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  19. When Was Haire at Bernstein?

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